TENNESSEE Phil McKraken, 67, fainted when he found out what he had bought with his hard-earned retirement funds. The small business owner, who ran an auto repair shop for 30 years, had decided to put his money into Bitcoin. He believed the cryptocurrency, created by Satoshi Nakamoto in 2008, would hedge against inflation.
“I had sold a property and was looking for somewhere safe to park my money,” Phil said. “This computer money seemed to be going up. So I figured, why not grab a couple of Bitcorns?”
Unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing his glasses. In one swift trade, he had accidentally market bought $420,000 of HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu. Phil believes the token intentionally misled him with the ticker $BITCOIN.
“When I came to, I almost passed out again. Who in God’s green earth would create another token named Bitcoin? I didn’t even know you could do that!”
Determined to get a refund, Phil found a Telegram group where he could reach out and pursue legal action.
“I’ve never seen so much mental illness in my life,” Phil said. “When I mentioned I wanted to sell cause I bought by accident, these colorful alien creatures told me to ‘retain’. They were speaking another language: ‘do not coom’, they kept saying over and over again.”
Frustrated by a lack of a serious response, Phil requested for a website so he could begin the legal process. Members told him to visit the website asiandaddies.com.
“I thought it was a joke. I didn’t want my wife to know I was visiting no gay asian dating site. But lo and behold, I come to a website that looks like it was made 20 years ago.”
At the time of writing, Phil remains a loyal $BITCOIN holder. He has, however, still been unable to figure out how to sell his tokens.
